Happy Pride Day!

The accompanying photo is of San Francisco City Hall where Tim and I were married on March 9, 2004. On the day of our marriage appointment in San Francisco, we arrived at the Civic Plaza in San Francisco still somewhat ambivalent about whether or not we really needed to go through with this whole marriage thing. After all, we had created our own marriage ceremonies over the years since there was no legal option. But, as we neared San Francisco City Hall, our resolve changed. More than a block away, we started hearing people shouting on bullhorns. We saw several hundred protesters fanned out across the entrance to City Hall, waving signs, passing out leaflets, singing and chanting. All of them condemning us. Calling people like us Sinners. Abominations. Gross. Sodomites. Praying for our souls to be swiftly and permanently sent to Hell. At first, we hesitated. As we neared the protesters, we looked at each other, held hands and knew why we were getting married. We were doing this not just for us or our friends and family. We were also doing it for them. The people who condemned us. We were doing this to stand up to their bigotry, their fear and their hatred. We were confronting their inability to see past their own narrow view of what it means to be loving and moral. We were holding up our love for each other, and the questioning the principles of people who define what love is or should be. We were showing that our love was stronger than their fear and bigotry and hypocritical concern for our salvation. We were remembering that we, too, have friends with strong religious beliefs – but rather than rejecting or condemning us, they cherish our relationship and recognize their religon’s teachings to love, honor and value each other. It turned out, we did need to get married – and we had a lot to celebrate on our wedding day.

Our 2004 marriage and those of four thousand other couples was annuled by the courts only a few weeks after we were married. In the Spring of 2008 when the California Supreme Court overturned the marriage ban in California, we tried again on July 24, 2008. Just to mix it up, this time we held our ceremony at the Marin Civic Center. The legal status of our 2008 marriage was in limbo for almost seven years until the U.S. Supreme Court validated gay marriages in 2015. By then, Tim and I had been together for nearly 35 years. We would have only another four years together before Tim died.

Switching to present day, I'm now working with a Kaiser pulmonologist to figure out what's going on with my lungs. While my coughing has tapered off somewhat, the Kaiser docs had hoped the antibiotics would have done the trick by now. Unfortunately, not. Before having a fairly invasive procedure like a bronchoscopy, the pulmonologist wants to investigate further. I'm in the process of submitting sputum samples (ick!) and I also have a CAT-scan scheduled.

When I had my stem cell transplant in 2017, I developed a very bad flu at the same time. That resulted in my healing taking a lot longer time -- underscoring the risks of being so severely immunocompromised. I sure hope my current cold/pneumonia doesn't compromise the gains I've been making with my CAR-T procedure at Stanford.

Finally, if you're interested in a very current overview of Multiple Myeloma, the Washington Post recently published an excellent summary: https://wapo.st/46bgD21